Observations on the Airline Experience

Observations on the Airline Experience

I get a snicker out of some of the ‘airline speak’ I hear – saying stuff like “illuminated” instead of “lit,” and “in the off position” instead of “off.” Who doesn’t love, “…tampering with, disabling or destroying?”  I think a simple, “Don’t f*** with the smoke detectors!” would suffice.  And have you ever really listened to the nonsensical random voice modulation flight attendants use when reciting their canned speech? I can only figure that they’ve repeated it so many hundreds of times that they aren’t even listening to themselves, and vary their voices randomly to make it sound as though they are. Thinking about it while sitting and waiting for takeoff, it occurred to me...

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Visit to Portland, Oregon August 2011 – Part Five

Return Home At PDX, we got through security quickly with no beeps, no gropes and, once again, no x-ray. This time, they weren’t interested in Ellen’s powdered prescription. As boarding began, I missed the call for Priority and didn’t know our boarding group number. When I asked at the gate, I got a dismissive, “I already called your group.” Hmmph, well excuse me for being just a dumb paying customer. For this trip, the aircraft was again an MD-80. Yawn.  (These airplanes are getting long in the tooth, as the saying goes.) The woman in front of Ellen was barely seated before she tilted her seat back – inconsiderate twit.  Even as crew members checked seat backs and tray tables before takeoff, not one noticed, until finally I just held up a...

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